There's a fact for you.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... We're like a girl band!

VO: ..and a classic car.

Give it some juice, Myrie, give it some juice.

VO: Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

I'm brilliant at haggling.

Who knew?

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

I can't believe that!

VO: But it's no easy ride.

What's that smell?

The clutch!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

That's very art deco, innit?

VO: Take the biggest risk?

It's half toy, it's half furniture.

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

That's irrelevant.

VO: There will be worthy winners... VO: ..and valiant losers.

No!

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

Woohoo!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Yee-haw!

MUSIC: "Gold" by Spandau Ballet.

# Gold # VO: Welcome to another pair of celebrity road trippers.

These ones are definitely gold and indestructible.

# Always believe in... # Go on, give it some welly.

Whoa, Shirl!

Wahey!

Hold on!

(LAUGHS) Buckle up!

Not that much welly!

VO: Getting into the rhythm of that fine Ferrari Dino are husband and wife, Shirlie and Martin Kemp.

Shirlie began her career as a teenage pop star on the British chart scene.

First time I ever saw you, I was at home with my mum and dad watching television on a Thursday night, 7.30pm, and you were doing Wham Rap... with Wham.

That's the first time I ever saw you.

So why have we been together so long?

I've never met anyone who's better than you.

Oh, you're looking for someone better... SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) No!

VO: Martin started off as a child actor and would later find astounding success as a member of '80s pop sensation Spandau Ballet.

MARTIN: Is it 40 years?

SHIRLIE: Yeah...feels... MARTIN: Feels like 80.

MARTIN: You remember the first time we met.

SHIRLIE: You took me out for dinner, didn't you?

MARTIN: Yeah, you ate my tacos.

You did, you ate my tacos!

VO: I like her style.

And when it comes to antiques, sage advice will be on hand from antiques experts James Braxton and Margie Cooper.

MARGIE: Driving along in our gold, what is it, Aston Martin?

I think it's very apt because the people we're seeing today are Spandau Ballet.

MARGIE: Yeah.

Wasn't one of their big songs "Gold"?

It was.

And we're in a gold... JAMES: We're in a gold car so... MARGIE: ..Aston Martin.

I think it'll be very difficult not to say "gold" the whole time.

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) JAMES: Gold!

Gold!

# Gold # So I'm going to be with a heart-throb.

You're going to be with a heart-throb...

I am with a heart-throb now, James.

Oh, rubbish.

The Road Trip heart-throb.

I'm with the thinking man's totty, Margie Cooper.

VO: Uh-oh, it's going to be one of those days!

SHIRLIE: I wonder if Margie's a Spandau Ballet fan.

One of those swooners around you.

MARTIN: No...

I hope not.

Do you know what I can't wait to see, is James, the expert, hasn't got a clue what's coming.

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) James will be like, "Take as long as you want, Shirlie.

I understand.

Let's stop for lunch, Shirlie."

"You're looking hungry."

That would be my perfect day out.

VO: Fortunately, Mr Braxton favors a long lunch.

Ha!

You know, me and Marge, I reckon, just have a little smooch around the shops.

SHIRLIE: A what?

MARTIN: See what we like... A smooch around the shops, see what we like.

You're not smooching with Marge!

MARTIN: Smooching?

Mooching!

Well it's smooching around the shops...

It's not!

Smooching means you two are smooching and kissing round the shops.

Smooching around the shop means having a look around.

Moo-ching.

MARTIN: Oh, got you!

Of course!

Smooching, yeah, you...you and... You'll definitely not be smooching.

No, we won't be smooching, we'll be mooching.

SHIRLIE: No.

Yeah.

Well, you never know.

VO: With £400 apiece to spend, they'll be shopping in the West Country before gathering in Chalfont St Giles for an auction showdown.

First stop today is historic Frome, with 370 listed buildings, including this ancient temple... ..ha-ha..... Just kidding.

Roman remains have been found around here, but this is the kind of thing on offer at Frome Reclamation.

MARTIN: Just what you wanted... SHIRLIE: Yeah.

SHIRLIE: I love reclamation yards.

Oh, I'm excited.

MARTIN: Let's go.

SHIRLIE: Oh, wow, that's a nice one.

MARTIN: This is them, isn't it?

SHIRLIE: Aston Martin.

MARTIN: Must be here already.

SHIRLIE: Nice.

MARTIN: That's more me.

SHIRLIE: Yeah, that suits you.

MARTIN: Yeah.

VO: All in good time.

Our experts are already browsing, itching to part with some of that £400.

MARTIN: Margie.

MARGIE: Ah, Martin.

MARTIN: How are you?

I'm very well.

How are you?

MARTIN: Good.

MARGIE: Good!

Massive place to start.

I'm in your hands.

MARGIE: Oh, really?

Oh.

Ooh!

MARTIN: Yeah.

That's a temptation!

VO: Flirting already!

Come with me and let's start having a shop and see if we can find something.

VO: Now, have Shirlie and James found each other amongst this enormous collection of stuff?

JAMES: Hello.

Hi, James.

Nice to meet you.

Very good to meet you, Shirlie.

We've got masses of antiques here.

They're inside and outside... SHIRLIE: Yeah, excellent.

JAMES: So shall we plow ahead... SHIRLIE: Yeah, OK. VO: That's what we're here for.

Roll up your sleeves and dig in.

That...is terrifying.

MARTIN: Oh, 3,950.

I was going to say, that was cheap!

That's out of my range.

VO: Just a tad.

VO: Is that an enormous speaker?

SHIRLIE: I do like all these little carvings.

What have you got?

What do you think of these?

MARTIN: Yeah, yeah...it's nice.

SHIRLIE: Carvings.

SHIRLIE: I don't know what for, but I just like them.

MARTIN: They'd sell alright.

There's two speakers over there that belonged to Led Zeppelin... SHIRLIE: No way.

MARTIN: ..That I'm going to buy.

What, for our house or for the show?

MARTIN: Yeah, if you're having those, I'm having those speakers.

Oh no, please don't buy them.

SHIRLIE: How big are they?

MARTIN: Massive.

MARTIN: Come on.

VO: Away, and take a stairway to heaven.

MARGIE: What have you got there?

Some old cross, look.

MARGIE: Yeah, religious stuff.

I love religious stuff.

What is it, though?

MARGIE: Is it a grave marker?

MARTIN: Yeah.

Got to be, hasn't it?

Yeah.

It doesn't belong to him, does it?

Yeah...yes.

MARTIN: Is that yours?

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) VO: Let's see if we can get some sense out of Shirlie.

JAMES: Now, what have you found here?

Em, I don't quite know what it is, but I love... Obviously, it's got flowers.

There's a flower theme.

Yeah.

I like the colors, the embroidery is really pretty, but I don't quite know what it is.

Well, it's called a pole screen, and it was used to protect your face from the fire.

Does it adjust?

You can move it up and down... Oh, that's why it adjusts, yeah.

JAMES: Yeah.

So if you were... SHIRLIE: So you can have it... SHIRLIE: So if I'm sat there... JAMES: Exactly, exactly.

..so my body's close to the fire... Also, some people don't think it...

It's not so attractive to be sort of red faced, so... SHIRLIE: Glowing one side and not the other.

Nothing wrong with that.

As long as you're warm.

No, I quite like that.

I think that might be something I would go for.

I mean, how old is it as well?

Is it...?

So it's either George III, which is the style of it... SHIRLIE: Mm.

..or more likely, it's an Edwardian.

So, turn of the century, 1900 copy, or a late Victorian copy.

And that looks like silk work, doesn't it, the panel?

Yeah, it's like a velvet, fine velvet... JAMES: Yeah.

..with a really beautiful silk embroidery.

JAMES: They would come in pairs.

SHIRLIE: Oh, right.

So they'd have been either... SHIRLIE: Of course, cuz you always have two chairs by the fire.

VO: Is that a hefty price tag I see?

JAMES: How much... That's 125 plus VAT, so that's a lot.

JAMES: That's retail?

Yeah.

VO: Yeah.

One to consider.

Looks like Martin has spotted something though.

Ah, you've found something.

Yeah, I like these.

Yeah, that's just up your street though, isn't it?

Yeah.

I mean, you know, what people do, you take the back out and all the gubbins and you put Bluetooth in there.

MARGIE: Oh, right.

So they look good on the shelf.

MARGIE: You've got the retr...

Listen, it all depends how they clean up... MARGIE: Do you think they will... MARTIN: There's this one... and there's this one.

This is an old Murphy, this is a bit later.

MARGIE: Yeah.

MARTIN: It's a similar sort of thing.

Right.

I'm just wondering if we get a good price on both of them.

MARGIE: Yeah, that's a thought.

You know, 25 quid each... MARGIE: Yeah.

See if we can knock him down a bit.

MARGIE: Yeah, a bit.

A lot.

When were you first on the radio?

I remember sitting by my mum and dad's radiogram.

Yeah.

MARTIN: You know, the old... MARGIE: Yeah, I do!

It was like a massive piece of furniture in your house.

And sitting by that, waiting for it to be played.

And it was... an unbelievable moment... ..because that's the moment you dream of.

Your mother was in tears?

Oh, we all were!

I think we all were.

MARTIN: You know... MARGIE: Yeah, I'm sure.

MARGIE: It's a...great moment.

MARTIN: Yeah...

So, Marge, come on, let's have the truth now.

Did you ever buy a Spandau record?

I listened to Spandau.

MARTIN: Yeah.

MARGIE: I did.

But you never bought a record?

MARGIE: No, I didn't, no.

MARTIN: That's why I'm skint.

See, if you'd have bought it...

I don't buy many, I don't.

I just listen.

I just listen.

VO: Hang on to those radios.

What's Shirlie got her eye on?

JAMES: Shirlie, this is you in a former life, isn't it?

It is.

It's everything I aspired to be.

BOTH: (LAUGH) And what... when did, when did you get the bug for the stage?

So what happened was, in the beginning - in Wham, that was my beginning - so George and Andrew were my best friends.

We...we'd all been hanging out and they'd written some great songs... JAMES: Yeah.

..and they decided we needed to do a PA.

So they said to me, "Would you come and do a PA?"

And I said, "Yes.

What's a PA?"

SHIRLIE: So...yeah!

JAMES: What is a PA?

SHIRLIE: A personal appearance.

JAMES: OK. And the audience loved it... Wow.

..and the rest was history.

We...

It just took off so fast.

JAMES: Shirlie, what was the hot move of the '80s?

The classic move, because I think in the '70s, the girls, it was a handbag.

Girls would dance by like that around the handbag.

Then the '80s, it became very... That's a real Wham move, that one.

JAMES: That's a Wham move.

SHIRLIE: Let's see it, James.

One, two... SHIRLIE: One and then... JAMES: Three and four.

MUSIC: "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham!

# Cuddle up, baby # SHIRLIE: OK, I think... JAMES: (LAUGHS) I think we'll carry on with antiques, yeah?

JAMES: Yeah, I think so.

Stick to antiques, James.

I think, yeah.

I felt... SHIRLIE: Don't want to pull a muscle.

I know!

Could be the heart.

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) Yeah.

VO: I hope owner Karl's got the defibrillator on standby while he deals with Martin.

Eh, your radios...

Yes, yes.

..you've got a couple here.

KARL: Yeah.

I mean, firstly, I'd like to clean them down a bit... Yeah, no problem... MARTIN: They're scratched up, cuz they're good cases.

MARTIN: Aren't they?

KARL: They are.

People put Bluetooths in.

Yeah, nice.

Yeah, retro.

Good look... MARTIN: Yeah, nice on the shelf, in the kitchen, you can imagine.

So if I cleaned it up a little bit, make sure there's no big scratches on there... KARL: Yeah, of course you can.

MARTIN: And then the two... MARTIN: ..together, the pair... KARL: Yeah.

MARTIN: ..buy one, get one free?

VO: Bog off!

(GROANS) Nearly, nearly, nearly.

KARL: Well, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, seeing as it's you, I'll do it.

MARTIN: Oh, man, that's so good!

MARGIE: Great!

MARGIE: Oh, that's fantastic.

KARL: You'll do well there.

MARGIE: Great.

Thanks, Karl.

KARL: No problem.

Thanks then.

VO: £25, including VAT.

£375 left.

Nice work, Martin.

Let's see how they scrub up.

Nice to see Margie putting in some elbow grease.

I think they've got pigeon poo on them, to be honest... MARGIE: (LAUGHS) Yours has!

MARTIN: They do, don't they?

MARGIE: Yours has!

MARTIN: It has!

VO: Done and dusted.

Time to get going.

Now, is Shirlie set for a purchase?

SHIRLIE: I do like to get the price down, so... JAMES: Yeah.

And I'm happy to walk away if they won't.

JAMES: Yeah.

Right.

SHIRLIE: So...

I've gone beyond the best price now, I just say the price I want to pay.

Yeah.

SHIRLIE: Well, yes.

I like that.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) I'm going to learn things from you, James.

They're going to be good things.

JAMES: Life's too short Shirlie.

SHIRLIE: Exactly.

OK. JAMES: Yeah, let's go and see Karl, shall we?

SHIRLIE: Let's see.

JAMES: Hello, Karl.

KARL: Hi.

SHIRLIE: Be kind.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) I will, of course.

Right, so we've seen a pole screen.

KARL: Yeah, yeah.

Now, you've got it priced for 125.

Is that all?

SHIRLIE: We can't do that.

KARL: Oh, OK. SHIRLIE: No... KARL: We can sort a deal.

SHIRLIE: Nothing like that.

KARL: We'll sort a deal.

So I'm looking at offering you and hoping you will accept... SHIRLIE: Feels like a marriage ceremony.

KARL: OK, yeah.

SHIRLIE: ..my hand, I mean... KARL: Yeah, yeah.

Would you accept £45?

Alright, we'll give it a go.

SHIRLIE: You'll do 45?

KARL: We'll give it a go.

You're a good man, Karl, you're a good man.

SHIRLIE: Right.

JAMES: Wahey.

VO: Crikey, she's learning fast.

SHIRLIE: There we go.

Cash.

KARL: Yeah, why not, why not?

Brilliant.

Thank you very much.

VO: 355 left.

Excellent start, Shirlie.

Must be about time for that Braxton-style lunch.

VO: Meanwhile, Martin and Margie are detouring 30 miles to the southwest to Yeovilton.

VO: They're on a mission which will take them to Royal Navy Fleet Arm museum to discover how women came to join the war effort and became pioneering heroines of air traffic control.

Curator Fiona Taylor is standing by to wave them in.

FIONA: Hello!

How are you?

Are you OK?

Good, good.

Good.

Welcome to the Fleet Air Arm museum.

MARTIN: Great, thank you.

VO: During the Second World War, while Britain's naval fleet dominated the seas, huge numbers of fighter planes were engaged in a new era of aerial warfare, creating a need to control crowded skies.

In 1939, Wrens were called upon to free a man for the fleet, and at Yeovilton, these women became the first to do the job we now call air traffic control.

There's hundreds of planes in the sky, and that's never been the case before.

And it became very clear very soon that they needed a new method of controlling not just Allied aircraft, but... ..enemy aircraft that came into the sky.

Transport planes, cargo planes, anything.

So, they...

I mean, the sky up there must have been so busy... FIONA: Yes.

..that they did an incredible job.

MARTIN: So they took girls out of society that had never done it before in their life, right?

Yeah.

So how did the girls actually learn?

Was there a practical way you could teach them how to become fighter controllers?

Well, it was a very difficult task.

It required a lot of knowledge in mathematics, physics, meteorology.

You had to know all the specifications of each of the aircraft that could have entered the airfield.

VO: And, at nearby Specklington Manor, those elite women who would become fighter direction controllers underwent rigorous training using rather unorthodox methods.

FIONA: What they actually ended up using was an ice cream tricycle.

An ice cream tricycle?

An ice cream tricycle, yes.

And you stay on the ground, but you could learn all the skills that you needed for...for directing aircraft in the sky.

Great, but it was a nice reward at the end of it... ..because you got a 99.

I wish!

And I can... We have one here in the museum so I can actually show you exactly what they did.

I would love to see that.

Shall we go and have a look?

MARGIE: Let's go.

FIONA: Yes.

MARTIN: Alright, great.

VO: It was a low tech solution to a high tech problem.

MARTIN: So this is it.

Here it is.

FIONA: This is our tricycle... MARTIN: The ice cream tricycle.

How did they learn on this?

If you imagine a control room, large plotting table, lots of people standing around, what they're doing is taking what would be a 10 by 10 foot plotting table... Yeah.

..they've scaled that up into an airfield outside, just outside this airfield actually... MARTIN: Yeah.

..to 100 yards by 100 yards.

Here you'd have Wrens cycling around outside, being directed by the Wrens inside of the control room.

So you'd have a radio, you'd have a metronome that would be telling you how fast to cycle... MARTIN: Right... MARGIE: Oh, yeah.

..or in this case, how slow to cycle... MARGIE: Mm.

MARTIN: Right.

..and you would have a compass to...just so you know which direction you're being told to go.

OK, so the metronome is about your speed?

FIONA: Yes.

MARTIN: Right?

Yes, because the whole point of this technique for air traffic control... MARTIN: Yeah.

..is to mimic what was happening in the sky.

So from the 10 foot plotting table to the 100 yard airspace outside... MARTIN: Yeah.

..that would also be represented of 100 miles by 100 miles of airspace... MARTIN: Oh... FIONA: ..in the sky.

That is amazing, and it's all done on here.

That makes complete sense now.

FIONA: Yes.

Yeah... MARTIN: This is absolutely astounding.

VO: In 1944, 74,000 women had enrolled as Wrens, playing a full part in the war effort.

MARTIN: So did the fighter pilots, did they trust the Wrens?

FIONA: Yes, they had to.

They definitely had to.

VO: But after the war, women were excluded from careers as civilian air traffic controllers.

FIONA: But it wasn't actually until later after the war, about the '50s or '60s, that women were recognized as air traffic controllers.

VO: The first official female air traffic controller was Yvonne Sintes, who in 1960 was based at Gatwick airport.

And a French pilot was wanting to come in to land but heard a female voice and refused to land.

MARTIN: No?!

FIONA: Got diverted... Oh, I don't like that!

Mm.

MARGIE: I bet she was furious.

MARTIN: Yeah.

So it's... You know, it's taken a few years.

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) MARTIN: Wow... FIONA: (LAUGHS) But, yeah, so... She actually went on to become the first female airline captain.

MARTIN: Oh, she did?!

FIONA: So she really showed him.

MARTIN: Well, good for her!

FIONA: Yeah!

That's a great story.

VO: Time to see how it's done.

Well, we can let you have a spin.

Margie, we'll have you giving code words.

Are you going to trust me?

MARTIN: Absolutely would.

MARTIN: See you later.

MARGIE: (LAUGHING) OK!

MARGIE: Orange is sweet.

MARTIN: Here I come.

That's the weather is good.

MARTIN: Here I come!

Tally ho, there's an aircraft sighted and it's hostile.

Mind out!

Mind up!

Yeah, I've got you.

MARGIE: Buster is fly as normal, full speed.

MARGIE: Martin?

MARTIN: Yes?!

MARGIE: Pancake!

MARTIN: I'm trying my hardest to pancake!

MARGIE: (LAUGHING) That's land... Now!

MARTIN: Coming in for landing!

MARGIE: Pancake now!

VO: While Martin and Margie have been flying a tricycle, James and Shirlie have been getting into gear with the Ferrari.

Do you think you could put the lights on?

Now where are... where are the lights?

SHIRLIE: Can you hold the wheel?

Look out there.

JAMES: Yeah, I can.

SHIRLIE: Left hand... ..by your knee.

Turn clockwise.

JAMES: Turn the knob.

SHIRLIE: Turn the knob clockwise and... JAMES: Wow!

SHIRLIE: Wahey, you've done it.

I can turn them both off...and on.

VO: What style!

Who said men couldn't multitask, eh?

SHIRLIE: So I'm trusting you, James, to be a good driver, because I'm a nervous passenger.

Well, I will do my very best and I look forward to the report and appraisal afterwards, Shirlie.

If I don't scream the whole journey, you're doing well.

Well, I think I'm a better driver than I am a dancer, that's for sure.

Oh, I hope so.

JAMES: Yeah, I know.

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) VO: Never invite that man onto Strictly.

Shirlie and James are headed to Somerton, now a bonny market town, which may have been the capital of ancient Wessex.

And with Saxon treasure in mind, they're continuing their quest at Market Cross Antiques & Interiors.

JAMES: Well, let's get in there... SHIRLIE: Let's have a look, see what we can get.

VO: It looks full of interesting things for closer inspection.

(PAN CLATTERS) JAMES: Nothing to see here, sir.

Nothing to see here.

There we are.

Moving on swiftly, um... VO: Didn't see a thing.

Now, Shirlie, what have you found here?

Something I really love.

JAMES: Yeah?

Some gilt mirrors with candle holders.

I think they're very romantic.

They've got a pair... JAMES: They are nice, aren't they?

JAMES: Glittery.

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

They've got age, haven't they?

They're late Victorian.

So late...1890's.

They've got this rather nice floral design.

They've got the ribbons at the top.

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

You can still put candles in them.

SHIRLIE: That's when they would come alive, when it's... SHIRLIE: Nice evening... JAMES: Yeah.

..in a dining room, low light, candles on, glowing.

You're selling it!

SHIRLIE: I know.

See, everything looks better in the dark, doesn't it, when you get a bit older.

It does.

..so the less you see, the better.

BOTH: (LAUGH) VO: I see a £225 price tag for this pair of 19th century gilt gesso mirrors with flower- encrusted candle branches - girandole to you and me.

I see them at about 150 for the pair.

Yeah, so that's... Em, cuz they're missing... You see where the wire is?

SHIRLIE: That's right... JAMES: The ribbons there.

SHIRLIE: ..they're damaged, so... ..shall I go for it?

Or do you think you should go for it?

Shirlie, you're the star.

JAMES: I think... SHIRLIE: OK.

I think they're nice.

I think we should... You think I can go for those?

JAMES: Definitely.

SHIRLIE: OK. VO: Anything else for madame?

SHIRLIE: It's down this way.

VO: Yeah, lead on.

SHIRLIE: So, James, found something else.

Kind of the shabby chic style.

JAMES: Now, what is it?

What is it?

SHIRLIE: It's a little candelabra.

JAMES: Oh, lovely.

So candle goes in here.

JAMES: Yeah.

SHIRLIE: What do you think, '60s?

Is it something from the '60s?

It...it could be earlier, couldn't it?

SHIRLIE: Could it?

Oh, I haven't read the thing properly... JAMES: Do you think it's English or do you think it's continental?

I think they're French, yes.

I almost always go for a French look, and I think it says... JAMES: I think it's French.

SHIRLIE: I should put my glasses on.

There we have it... "French metal chandelier."

What's the money on it?

Well, it's quite expensive for what it is.

It's... JAMES: Is it?

SHIRLIE: ..55.

JAMES: Yeah.

Half that and we'd been in with a chance.

JAMES: Shall we go and see our man?

..that's...that's the... That's the thing.

Let's see if I can make this... JAMES: Be tough.

SHIRLIE: OK. JAMES: Inner Herod.

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

I'm going.

JAMES: Remember, they found them all in a skip.

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

(LAUGHS) JAMES: OK?

VO: That sort of talk will get you thrown out.

SHIRLIE: Hi, Pete.

PETE: Hi.

SHIRLIE: Hiya.

So, em, I found some things I like.

PETE: Good.

And I need some good prices.

PETE: Do you?

SHIRLIE: Mm.

Mm.

So there are the two mirrors that I really liked.

PETE: Yeah.

SHIRLIE: I'm thinking... ..and hoping you're going to agree with this, because James has taught me well now.

SHIRLIE: I'm presenting... PETE: Has he?

..you with a price that I'd pay.

PETE: OK.

Which would be 150 for the pair.

OK... We could do 170.

Hm, I'm in a competition against my husband... PETE: Oh, dear.

I need to beat my husband.

PETE: OK. JAMES: (LAUGHS) So, can I please ask you?

(LAUGHS) 150?

SHIRLIE: 150?

PETE: I think we possibly could do that... SHIRLIE: Could you?

PETE: ..at a push.

That might give me a fighting chance of beating my husband...

The other thing I liked was the wiry, shabby chic candelabra... PETE: Shabby?

SHIRLIE: ..thing, coat hanger.

SHIRLIE: The ornate coat hanger.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) OK, yeah.

Now, it's got 55 on it.

Well, we can do that... SHIRLIE: What's your best?

PETE: ..for 30.

SHIRLIE: 30?

PETE: Yeah.

OK, well, that's a deal, we're going to take those two.

So what's the maths?

150... JAMES: 150... SHIRLIE: ..60, 70... PETE: 80, 180.

SHIRLIE: ..180.

SHIRLIE: So... PETE: Brilliant.

..let's get the cash... 180!

SHIRLIE: 180!

VO: Fingers crossed for that bull's-eye, Shirlie.

And she still has 175 left.

JAMES: All winners, Shirlie.

SHIRLIE: I think we did well.

JAMES: We've done well, haven't we... SHIRLIE: I love what we've got.

I really love it.

VO: Time to return to their better halves and report back.

Did you have any arguments?

No, he just did everything I said.

Just disagreements.

SHIRLIE: No.

Loud disagreements.

No, it was a great day.

We got on really well, and I'm really pleased with the wonderful things I bought.

I'll tell you what, I'm knackered now.

VO: And how was it for you, experts?

JAMES: And I'm looking forward to a pint, as they say around these parts, a pint of glider... ..a pint of glider... Is that what they call it?

Pint of glider.

And a nice dinner... Cuz you glide afterwards, you see?

MARGIE: Oh, I see.

JAMES: After your cider.

Pint of glider and a nice dinner, yeah?

JAMES: Pint of glider... MARGIE: Are we up for that?

..and a nice dinner.

Hopefully, Margie, it's plant based.

JAMES: Come on.

You've got to... You've got to be now, you've got to be with it.

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) VO: Mine's a steak.

Night night.

MUSIC: "Wake Me Up Before You Go-go" by Wham!

VO: Wakey-wakey!

We're in Dorset and it's time to go-go!

You know, I love seeing you in this, Shirl.

You look a bit like Penelope Pitstop with your scarf round your neck as well.

I know, I should have put it on my head.

Your blonde hair.

You do, you look sexy in it!

Oh, thanks.

You look good in it, too!

Very handsome.

If you think that's sexy, wait till you see this.

MARTIN: Whoa!

SHIRLIE: Woah.

Every time I see someone I like, I just give them a little flash of the... Hello!

VO: Hel-lo!

And hello, Dick Dastardly and Muttley in the Aston Martin.

The problem is when you get to my age, you know, you suffer slightly a spreading bottom, don't you?

So...

So a good, comfortable... No comment.

A good, comfortable seat is very welcome for the older gentleman.

VO: Bath chair for Braxton!

Shirlie splashed the cash on a chandelier, a pole screen and two mirrored sconces, and has £175 at her disposal today.

SHIRLIE: One and then... JAMES: Three, and four!

VO: Martin still has £375 left, as he made one purchase yesterday, and it's in the boot.

I think they've got pigeon poo on them.

VO: Time to take a look.

SHIRLIE: What is that, a radio?

Yeah, it's a radio.

It's an old radio, but... SHIRLIE: It is old!

MARTIN: Well, you take the middle out of it and you put Bluetooth into it.

SHIRLIE: Is that how... Oh, look, it's got your initials on it, MK.

MARTIN: Oh, there you go - made for me!

What a good omen that is.

Hey?

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

MARTIN: How much do you think I paid for my radio?

Fiver?

Oh, Shirl!

What?

I don't know, it's...

I've got two of them... SHIRLIE: It's just a body, really, isn't it... ..for 25 quid.

Right.

VO: What about Shirlie's purchases?

SHIRLIE: I bought a pair of mirrors.

SHIRLIE: Oh... VO: Uh-oh.

MARTIN: Oops.

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) MARTIN: Oh, Shirlie, I... Yeah, well, I didn't do... You did that on purpose.

MARTIN: Of course I didn't... You knocked it when you took it out.

I didn't!

It just fell off...

I think you're sabotaging my mirrors... No, it just fell off, look.

MARTIN: Oh, listen... SHIRLIE: Have you got any glue?

MARTIN: I'll get some glue for you.

Alright, let's get it back in.

VO: Quick, where's the nearest hardware shop?

There's bound to be one at the next port of call, which is lovely Sherborne.

Boasting an abbey and not one but two castles, and much of the town built in fine, ochre-colored local hamstone.

Both teams are in town, headed for different shops, and Martin's dropped off Shirlie, who's going to Sherborne Antiques Market to rendezvous with Mr Braxton.

SHIRLIE: Morning, James!

JAMES: Morning, Shirlie.

SHIRLIE: Oh!

Early for that.

JAMES: I'm just... Yeah, I know it's a bit early for that.

I don't think...

I don't think you'd drink it, I think you'd get a shock.

Look at the level.

SHIRLIE: Oh... Oh, yeah.

JAMES: Right down there.

That'll be lovely vinegar now.

SHIRLIE: Oh, disintegrated.

JAMES: 1962.

Oh, that's my year.

JAMES: That's your year.

SHIRLIE: That's my year.

JAMES: It's... Goodness!

SHIRLIE: Good year.

Good, a very good year!

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) VO: Well, bottoms up, eh?

There's masses to see, so crack on.

Ooh, I feel a bit Mary Poppins.

VO: In every job that must be done there is an element of fun.

Hello, Evie, how are you?

Now, you tell me where the good stools are, OK?

Where is it?

On the left-hand side?

OK, I'll go over.

VO: Silly old galoot.

Perfect for Martin's birthday present.

VO: Lucky Martin, eh?

JAMES: Look.

She could step away from the homeware, OK?

SHIRLIE: I love homeware.

This is really... SHIRLIE: ..gorgeous.

JAMES: So...what is it?

JAMES: This is enamel.

JAMES: It's a lovely color, isn't it?

Can't break it.

Can throw it.

JAMES: If you'd spent a lot of money on your kitchen, would you then introduce enamel pots that have bits of rust on it?

SHIRLIE: Yes.

Absolutely... JAMES: You would?

That's acceptable, is it?

Yeah, cuz it looks like you've got a bit of your own style, SHIRLIE: you know?

JAMES: OK. You haven't gone to a department store and just... JAMES: Yeah.

You've got this gorgeous white kitchen and you've got a special shelf showing your love of vintage.

JAMES: Yeah.

So I think I'd like to go for this.

And how much is it... SHIRLIE: Em, well... Mm... JAMES: Is it big money?

JAMES: Small money?

It is 160.

JAMES: 160... SHIRLIE: That's nearly all of my budget.

We've got 175 to spend, so... Yeah.

..we'll just have to get that down.

That's fine...

So potentially that's one down.

SHIRLIE: That's one down.

JAMES: Let's keep looking.

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

JAMES: You go that way.

VO: Meanwhile, Martin is rocking up at Acreman Street Antiques and Interiors, just a stone's throw away.

It houses the wares of over 40 dealers, so there's plenty to see, and Margie's already on the hunt.

MARTIN: Margie!

MARGIE: Hello.

How are you, you OK?

I'm alright, yeah.

Have you had a good look around?

Yeah, it's a great shop.

MARGIE: Yeah, it is, yeah.

MARTIN: Really like it.

MARGIE: Spoilt for choice.

MARTIN: Loads of stuff.

MARGIE: Well, this made me laugh.

Look, you think, 'Why is it on that box like that?'

MARTIN: Yeah.

And then you realize... Hey.

It's... MARTIN: Magic!

It's a traveling top hat, isn't it?

Yeah, you've squashed a bunny though now.

There's a dead bunny inside.

So you probably went to the theater, did you, the box?

Or is it just easy to put it away... MARTIN: That's the storage.

Yeah, a little bit of storage.

Yeah!

Inventor of the Opera Hat.

MARGIE: You've done a bit of theater work.

MARTIN: Eh, yeah, I spent a few months in the West End doing Chicago.

Did you?

So would there be a bit of this?

A bit of that.

Bit of the old razzle dazzle.

I did that, I've done a few over the years, you know?

MARGIE: Really?

So you can dance, sing, act.

I always like to think that I'm getting away with it... ..rather than that I can do it.

Oh, that's a modest... That's a modest man, isn't it?

No, I do.

I always think someone's around the corner, who's going to catch me out... and say... You shouldn't be here.

.."We've sussed you right out."

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) Well, that's very nice thing to say, and I'm sure... MARTIN: On your bike.

MARGIE: ..sure you're wrong!

MARTIN: Yeah.

VO: Right, let's see some skill in spotting good antiques.

VO: Ah, a musical interlude.

MARGIE: Saxophone.

You ever played a saxophone?

No, not at all.

Cuz you're a bass guitarist, aren't you?

MARTIN: I'm bass guitar.

MARGIE: Yeah.

Yeah, the instrument that you can only play when you're with a band.

Ah, of course.

MARTIN: You cannot play when you're sitting indoors.

But this saxophone, I think, is a bit too new.

MARGIE: Oh, yeah, it's too new.

Let's find something else.

MARGIE: Yeah, yeah.

VO: Over at the other shop, is anything else appealing to James and Shirlie?

SHIRLIE: So that's my third mirror now.

JAMES: Well done.

SHIRLIE: But I think it's really, really pretty.

JAMES: It's great colors.

They're called barbola mirrors.

SHIRLIE: Barbola.

JAMES: Barbola.

It's a sort of early crafting.

You'd buy a kit.

You know how people used to do rather nice tapestries?

Yeah.

JAMES: You'd buy the mirror and then you'd select what flowers you wanted.

JAMES: You stuck... SHIRLIE: I'd love to do that.

I know.

Isn't it fun?

Stick the flowers on and then you'd paint it... You'd paint it yourself?

JAMES: Yeah.

JAMES: Well, how much is it?

SHIRLIE: 55.

55...

So, we need to get this for...?

JAMES: 30, £40, something like that, maybe.

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

Right.

JAMES: Let's go and see Craig.

VO: You do that.

Hi, Craig.

CRAIG: Oh, hi, Shirlie.

SHIRLIE: So, I found this mirror.

OK.

So it's got 55 on it, so I really need...

This is a competition, I'm against my husband... JAMES: (LAUGHS) ..and he's around a load of women who will be allowing him to buy whatever he wants, at the right price... CRAIG: And now it's the reverse.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) Yeah.

And now I've got you, Craig, and I can't think of anyone better to give me a good deal... CRAIG: Alright, that's mine, so you can have that for 40.

SHIRLIE: 40?

CRAIG: Yeah.

OK, so I also loved the homeware, the blue homeware tins.

Yeah.

What cou...

I haven't got much money left.

JAMES: Keep smiling, Craig... SHIRLIE: It's embarrassing, I know.

So... That's one... That's 160.

SHIRLIE: That's 160.

CRAIG: And if I go too low, that dog doesn't eat.

SHIRLIE: Oh, well, don't...

I'll take the dog home.

I'll feed the dog.

Don't worry about your dog.

CRAIG: She's not for sale.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) That... What does it come to?

160... 150?

CRAIG: 150 for the whole lot.

SHIRLIE: Thank you.

That's really kind.

Thank you.

VO: That's 115 for the tins and 35 for the mirror, and Shirlie's all spent up.

Now, what about Martin?

Ooh, look, he's making for the jewelry - and on his own as well.

Who needs Margie Cooper, eh?

Pearls.

Oh, very nice.

MARTIN: Marge, look.

MARGIE: Yeah?

MARTIN: I...I really like these.

MARGIE: Oh!

MARTIN: Found some old pearls... MARGIE: Yeah, they look nice... ..with a beautiful clasp.

Yeah.

But what I can't find is the hallmark.

MARGIE: Right.

MARTIN: Do you want to have a look for me?

MARGIE: They're very creamy... Well, they're creamy, but I like creamy pearls because they kind of, like, look a little bit vintage.

MARGIE: (WHISPERS) Yeah.

MARTIN: They look like they've got history.

VO: Pearls come in many colors, like black and pink, but fine cream pearls are associated with glamorous women of the '50s and '60s, like Audrey Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor.

It's 18 carat gold, which is good.

MARTIN: 18?

MARGIE: 18.

MARTIN: That's good.

So...what price are we on?

110.

110.

Yeah?

MARTIN: Let's see what we can get.

I really like those.

MARGIE: Yeah... MARTIN: OK, great.

MARGIE: Good.

MARTIN: What... MARGIE: Yeah?

What is this thing here then?

Oh, you know what that is?

MARGIE: Yeah?

That is a First World War ammunition box.

Yeah, military.

I mean, it looks as rough as... it's rotten... MARGIE: It does.

..but...there's so much history in these things.

MARGIE: Yeah, definitely.

What those kids went through.

Yeah.

So how much?

That says 22 quid.

MARGIE: Let's go.

MARTIN: I'm going to take that.

I'm going to take it, not because of what it is, because of the history that's in it.

Yeah, it's had a...

It's had a life, hasn't it?

Yeah, it's had a life.

MARGIE: Mm!

And...that kind of gets me.

Oh, well, that's great.

Well, you carry that, I'll carry the pearls, and then we'll try and just secure a little... ..a better deal on the pearls, yeah?

MARTIN: Done, let's go.

VO: Form an orderly procession to the counter to talk to Charlotte.

MARTIN: Can you manage that, then?

MARGIE: (LAUGHING) I can.

Just about.

Charlotte.

Hello.

I've got this old box here.

CHARLOTTE: Mm-hm.

That is a First World War ammo box, right?

That's right.

And it's got a price on it... CHARLOTTE: Yeah.

MARTIN: ..of 22 quid.

I'm going to take this... CHARLOTTE: Right.

..and I've got something else that I do need to barter you down on.

CHARLOTTE: OK.

So we've got these, Charlotte.

CHARLOTTE: Yes.

And there's the ticket that you've seen.

MARTIN: Yeah, £110 for those... CHARLOTTE: Right.

..pearls with the gold clasp.

CHARLOTTE: Yes.

What can you do those for?

CHARLOTTE: Er... MARTIN: Can you go to 90?

I can go to 90, yes... MARTIN: 90.

I could even do them for 80 cuz they happen to be mine.

MARGIE: Ah.

MARTIN: Ah!

That's alright.

80 quid!

Oh, well, listen, that is so nice.

CHARLOTTE: Not at all.

MARGIE: Done.

That's a deal.

So I'm going to take both of those for... CHARLOTTE: Thank you.

MARTIN: ..100 quid.

CHARLOTTE: No, £102!

MARGIE: (LAUGHING) Oh, no!

MARTIN: Oh, 102 quid, sorry... MARGIE: Two!

..I...I always think lower.

CHARLOTTE: (CHUCKLES) MARTIN: Got one, two, three, four... VO: Don't forget the two!

MARTIN: ..and two quid.

CHARLOTTE: Thank you very much.

MARTIN: Thank you very much.

Have a good day.

CHARLOTTE: And you.

Thank you.

MARTIN: See you later.

VO: Goods in the boot, and they're off.

MARTIN: That sounds good!

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) VO: Margie and Martin go Formula 1!

Meanwhile, James is showing off the Aston Martin to Shirlie.

Nice car.

It's got a good... (LOW HORN) Oh, that's a funny sound.

Sounds like a train.

And you can change the tone of the horn, look... No... (HIGH-PITCHED HORN) SHIRLIE: Oh, wow.

JAMES: Isn't that cool?

I think the higher one's more effective.

I think the higher one's more effective, but this is... (LOW HORN) JAMES: Sort of like a foghorn, isn't it?

SHIRLIE: Like a train - choo choo!

(LOW HORN) VO: Now, how do you like them apples?

James and Shirlie are making their way to Burrow Hill, and a farm which has single- handedly brought back to life a spirit which had all but vanished for 300 years - cider brandy.

Matilda Temperley is the second generation of a family reviving the fortunes of a traditional West Country tipple which was almost lost forever.

Hello!

Here we are.

JAMES: Here we are.

SHIRLIE: Ah!

MATILDA: Hi, guys.

SHIRLIE: Hi, Matilda.

MATILDA: How are you?

SHIRLIE: Good.

It's so lovely!

MATILDA: Brilliant, well... SHIRLIE: Fantastic!

Would you like to follow me into the orchards?

Looking forward to this trip.

JAMES: That's the best invitation I've had in years.

ALL: (LAUGH) VO: The soil and the climate of the West Country is ideal for apple growing, and orchards have flourished here and cider produced since the Romans invaded.

MATILDA: This is one of our orchards.

You can see the apples are a couple of months away from harvest at the moment.

When my parents first came here, they had four acres and now we've got 250 acres of apple orchards.

SHIRLIE: Wow.

MATILDA: In October, we'll start harvesting, and we'll harvest anywhere between about 700 and 1,200 tons.

A little bit less on a bad year, I fear this year might be a bad year.

And we first turn it into cider, and then half of our apples go further and they get distilled into Somerset cider brandy.

We've had a millennia of cider apple traditions here.

VO: The first record of cider brandy dates from this Treatise of Cider in 1678.

But this once popular drink disappeared soon thereafter.

A combination of heavy taxes leveled on cider, which occasioned rioting in the West Country, and the availability of cheap gin - or mother's ruin - combined to kill off this unique West Country spirit, until Matilda's father, Julian, decided in the 1980s to resurrect it.

MATILDA: They started the process of trying to make Somerset cider brandy.

It was long and involved, and it started with the museum license in 1987.

And then they got the first commercial license to distil cider in the UK in 1989, and it's all gone from there.

VO: This is such a family business that even the original stills installed in the '80s have names.

Some of them might have been my father's ex-girlfriends... SHIRLIE: Girlfriends... ..or ex-dogs, or...

But they're all French ladies, 1950's French ladies.

Yeah.

So they've all got French names.

Would you like to meet them?

Yeah, I'd love to.

VO: Ooh la la!

The French connection, of course, is Calvados, which is also a brandy distilled from apples.

And, although Somerset cider brandy is licensed and unique to here, similar drinks are distilled in other areas rich in fruit trees.

MATILDA: We've got 105 different types of apple in the orchards.

They've got amazing names.

We've got... That orchard had 'Slack-ma-Girdle' in it, had 'Ten Commandments', had 'Cider Lady's Finger' and 'Sheep's Nose'.

And 'Kingston Black' and 'Stoke Red', and all sorts of other ones.

Then we blend the apples together, then we mill them, we press them.

Then they go into vats for three to six months and then they're ready to come and be distilled in here.

JAMES: But how much do you lose in quantity, ie volume, from cider to the brandy?

MATILDA: So, depending on how strong your cider is, but really about... if you put 13 liters in, you can hope to get... one liter out.

So are you the only people that call it Somerset cider brandy?

We are a historic product, so everything is made here, in Somerset.

Everything is from our orchards.

So at the moment, we're the only people that make it.

I think we may be the only people that are mad enough to invest this...

Put all this work into it, yeah... MATILDA: ..this long time.

We're in for the...long haul.

Yeah.

I think we're probably the epitome of slow food here.

VO: Perhaps Shirlie and James will get a tipple before they go.

But meanwhile, let's catch up with Margie and Martin, who are enjoying a taste of British summer.

Oh my goodness, Margie, it's pouring down.

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) Here's me in my Ferrari with my... MARTIN: Yeah.

With my heart-throb pop star.

I'm getting rained on inside!

VO: They're headed in a westerly direction to the fine Somerset town of Taunton.

And by the time they get there, the weather may be better.

Yes...there we are.

The sun shines on the righteous.

Selwoods Antiques is the last antiques emporium of the trip, and there's bound to be something here to attract Martin and Margie, but what?

MARTIN: I think we need something... MARGIE: Shiny.

MARTIN: ..shiny.

MARGIE: Really?

MARTIN: Yeah.

MARGIE: A boring... a boring old copper kettle?

MARTIN: Yeah, but they're trendy now.

MARGIE: Are they?

MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, in the middle of the kitchen above the island?

Yeah... Country kitchen, have it hanging up.

MARGIE: Right... That's a no, I know it is.

I can see your face... No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Look, this is your day.

I can see your eyes.

The back of your eyes are saying...

Your face is saying, "That's really nice."

The back of your eyes are saying, "You're stark raving mad."

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) VO: Bright copper kettles are one of my favorite things too.

Ah, well.

What else?

Now that's a possibility... That's an umbrella rack.

Got a use... Got a bit of age.

That brass can be buffed up and look great.

Good quality.

You can see it's been used.

Lead... Eh, an iron base.

Yeah, I quite like that.

And it's £68.

VO: They can easily afford it with £268 left.

MARTIN: Boy's Own Papers...

I remember my dad talking about it.

VO: Originally published in 1879...to encourage reading and good Christian values, the Boy's Own Paper thrilled generations of school boys until 1967, with adventure, sporting achievements and things to make and do.

VO: What's the price tag?

MARTIN: 32 quid...

I love this.

That is absolutely me.

But you know what Margie's going to say... ..a load of old rubbish, like always.

But that's my heart.

VO: Stand up to her, Martin!

So I thought that was quite nice.

MARTIN: It is good.

Yeah, it's practical.

MARGIE: Practical, brass.

That's the sort of thing you would put in your hall.

MARTIN: Yeah, I can see that.

MARGIE: Yeah.

And we're starting at 68.

VO: Oh, come on, Martin.

Tell her what you want.

Boy's Own magazines, right.

MARTIN: Now, these... MARGIE: Yeah.

I never had this.

This is pre-me.

But my dad always used to talk about these.

MARGIE: Boy's Own.

MARTIN: Yeah... MARGIE: Even I've heard of that.

Boy's Own, famous magazines.

I mean... And there's loads of them in here.

MARGIE: Right... MARTIN: Absolutely... What does BOP mean?

BOP.

Boy's Own... What's BOP mean on the...

Boy's Own Paper.

MARGIE: Oh, Boy's Own Paper, right.

MARTIN: That's what it is.

Right, well, they...they look quite interesting, if that's... Oh, it's just fun for me.

MARGIE: Yeah?

MARTIN: You know?

I would buy these if I saw them in a shop.

MARGIE: Right.

So...I would like to go with these.

Right.

VO: Yes.

OK?

Shall we find Colin?

MARGIE: Yeah.

MARTIN: Let's see if we can... MARGIE: Get a deal on that.

VO: There's our man at the ready!

COLIN: Hello.

MARTIN: You alright?

Yes, thank you.

MARTIN: We've found a couple of things that we're interested in.

That's good.

MARTIN: One is the umbrella rack that you've got upstairs.

COLIN: Yeah.

MARTIN: And secondly, the collection of Boy's Own Papers.

Oh, right.

Yes.

What sort of deal can you give me on those?

COLIN: Oh, my goodness me.

I'd do the umbrella stand for 38.

38?

38.

I would do the books for...20 quid.

MARTIN: We've got a deal.

COLIN: We've got a deal.

VO: A frugal £58 secures the purchases, and that's time called on the shopping.

MARTIN: I like this.

Yeah, it's alright.

Well, it's something you can use, isn't it?

Yeah.

VO: Well, that's retail therapy over for the day.

Meanwhile, Shirlie and James are amongst the barrels at Burrow Hill, where Eau de Vie is aged in casks for at least three years.

Shirlie and James are going to taste one which has been aging for 10 years.

MATILDA: This one was on the menu at Harry and Meghan's wedding.

Mm.

JAMES: It's very good.

JAMES: Very cleansing... SHIRLIE: Delicious.

Very oaky... ..spicy, very warming.

Quite kind of a masculine taste.

Lovely.

I can taste the apple.

I'm a big fan of the apple.

I have an apple every single day...

It's lovely.

SHIRLIE: I think this has been James' favorite part, but... JAMES: Oh, rubbish, Shirlie.

How could you say that... SHIRLIE: We've an auction... JAMES: I love all those... ..duck egg blue enamel things.

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) I'll give you another drink, you'll like them even more.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) Thank you, guys, for coming.

It's lovely to meet you.

VO: Cin-cin!

VO: And in the Ferrari, Martin and Margie are homeward bound.

Well, it's been very nice having you along on the trip.

Thank you very much for having me.

MARGIE: Oh!

MARTIN: Yeah.

Your mum always used to say that when you went to a party, didn't she?

Yeah, that's right.

MARGIE: Remember to say, "Thank you for having me."

MARTIN: Yeah, that's right.

We always used to have to say that.

"Well, what do you say...?"

Yeah, yes!

Quite... (IMITATING A CHILD) "Thank you for having me."

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) VO: And thank you for just being you.

Sweet dreams.

VO: And soon enough, it's auction day.

What are our celebrities pinning their hopes on?

MARTIN: I think my biggest one...

..I've got the most faith in... ..are the set of pearls that I bought.

Yeah, I think so.

Because also though, isn't that Margie's expertise?

She knows her jewelry.

MARTIN: No, I found those.

SHIRLIE: Oh, I thought... Marge found the old umbrella rack.

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) MARTIN: I don't get... Oh, so you found the pearls?

MARTIN: I found the pearls!

If my umbrella stand is the thing that takes me down...

..I will never forgive Margie.

VO: Hope there's no tears before bedtime then.

Everything, including said umbrella stand, have been packed off north to auction in Shropshire.

But we're going east to gather and watch the proceedings at a historic barn near Chalfont St Giles.

SHIRLIE: It's getting darker.

I think we could be a bit lost.

MARTIN: I think you are lost.

SHIRLIE: We've suddenly gone from daylight to midnight.

What time is the auction?

I don't think we're going to get there... VO: You'll soon be out of the woods and Margie and James are already there!

MARGIE: Here they come!

JAMES: Quite a car, isn't it?

MARGIE: Absolutely.

JAMES: Hello!

I didn't know Ferrari did an all-terrain vehicle.

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) MARTIN: Oh, I tell you what, it's a backbreaker.

MARGIE: It is, but it looks... JAMES: That's... MARGIE: ..but it looks great.

JAMES: It's very smart.

MARTIN: It's a red back breaker.

MARGIE: You've arrived in style.

VO: While they settle down at the Chiltern Open Air Museum, up in Newport, things are getting underway at Brettells, with bidding in the room, by telephone and online.

Auctioneer Gemima Brettell will be the woman wielding the gavel.

Martin and Margie spent £185 on five lots.

What's Gemima's pick of their purchases?

GEMIMA: So the six-division stick stand, items like this always sell.

There's a high demand for stick stands.

So looking forward to selling this one.

We've had interest on the books, online.

So, yeah, should do well.

VO: Shirlie and James were more flash with their cash... ..parting with £375 on their five lots.

Gemima?

GEMIMA: So the item I'm looking forward to selling today are those 19th century gilt-framed girandole mirrors.

Incredible pieces.

Marvelous.

Very decorative.

So, yeah, should be a good sell with those.

VO: And it's nearly time.

Tablets at the ready!

JAMES: Eyes down, full house.

VO: First up, let's see if Martin's ammunition box goes with a bang.

We're going to be starting the bidding in at £18.

£18 bid.

£18 bid now.

Coming in at 20 if you want to go.

20, and two.

At 22.

25.

At 25, bidding live.

At 25 now, come in if you want to go.

Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

It's gone now.

At 25 then.

Final warning... MARTIN: Come on!

GEMIMA: Last call, last chance.

Here we go.

28, just in time.

GEMIMA: At 28, 28 now... MARTIN: Thank you.

30!

GEMIMA: Where's 30, if you want to go?

Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

At 28, then.

Who dares wins.

I'm selling, then, right now.

Final warning.

Here we go.

Sold away at £28... (GAVEL) Yay!

JAMES: Well done!

MARGIE: Well done... VO: Good start, Martin.

I'm loving this!

VO: Can Shirlie's pole screen get her off to a good start next?

We start the bidding in at £30.

At £30 bid.

£30 bid now.

GEMIMA: Come in at two... MARTIN: Wow.

At 30, at 30.

At two anywhere?

Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

At £30 bid, then.

Final warning, I'm selling.

Any more interest?

SHIRLIE: What?!

GEMIMA: Staying on my £30...

Here we go.

GEMIMA: Final warning at £30... SHIRLIE: £30?!

(GAVEL) ALL: (GROAN) MARGIE: That is a great shame... JAMES: No!

MARTIN: Aw... VO: Bad luck, Shirlie.

That is terrible, isn't it?

We've a long way to go yet.

MARGIE: Come on.

MARTIN: Yeah.

VO: So there is.

Oh, dear.

Watch out for that pigeon poo.

It's Martin's radios next.

I'd like to start the bidding in at 10, 12, £15.

At 15, 18 bid.

£18 bid now.

Bid it up, bid it up.

That's quite low.

GEMIMA: Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

At £18, are you coming back in?

Oh, it's going to be low.

£18 bid now.

Once, twice, third.

20.

And two.

MARTIN: Oh!

GEMIMA: At 22 now bid.

22 now bidding live here.

At 22, at two... JAMES: Agh!

GEMIMA: Bid it in, bid it now.

Quickly.

Don't give it up now... JAMES: Put the hammer down!

GEMIMA: ..sure you're out?

At 22, then, final warning.

Bid it in quickly... Come on!

Three quid more!

..final warning, for £22.

Are we done?

Are we sure?

I'm selling.

Last call.

Last chance for 22... (GAVEL) We lost £3.

VO: I liked them.

JAMES: Oh that's alright.

SHIRLIE: That's not too bad.

MARTIN: I lost £3... MARTIN: There you go... MARGIE: Still annoying.

VO: Here is hoping for a good price on the enamel tins.

I'd like to start the bidding in at 18... Oh, I jump to £55.

At £60 bid.

At £60 bid, £60 bid now.

Come in at five now, bid.

At 65 now.

70 bid.

At 70 bid.

And five anywhere?

Bid it in, bid it now... GEMIMA: At 75 now bid, 75... JAMES: Keep going.

..80 bid now.

80 bid, 80 bid now.

Coming in at five if you want to go.

At £80 bid, you've got flour, you've got sultanas, you've got macaroni... SHIRLIE: That's right, you sell it, yes!

GEMIMA: 85 bid.

At 90 bid now.

JAMES: 90!

Shirlie!

MARTIN: Wow!

MARTIN: Come on.

JAMES: Woah!

..all the essentials.

At 95 now.

100 bid now... ALL: (CHEER) GEMIMA: At £100 bid now... SHIRLIE: Yes, come on!

MARTIN: £100 up.

Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

At £100 is bid.

Where's 10?

Come on, where's 10?

GEMIMA: ..cuz I'm going to sell, final warning... SHIRLIE: No!

Where's 10?

MARTIN: Come on!

..I am selling for £100... (GAVEL) JAMES: Aww!

MARTIN: Aww... You nearly got there.

VO: Oh, dear.

She had high hopes for those.

Oh well, better luck next time, eh?

I think you did really well.

Thank you... JAMES: So you bought something that other people wanted, and I thought we were going to hemorrhage money on that.

Yeah, I think that's a result.

JAMES: That's a result.

That's being brave.

VO: More nostalgia from Martin now.

It's the turn of the Boy's Own Papers.

What are we going to be?

Start me in, £10 for them?

£10, start me in.

Oh, she's not looking confident.

GEMIMA: £5 then.

MARTIN: No!

SHIRLIE: Five?

MARTIN: Come on!

..somebody, please, help.

Fiver... SHIRLIE: Three?

JAMES: She's struggling... GEMIMA: ..I ask £2.

£2!

Please, somebody, quickly, £2, help me out, quickly.

Press that button now.

£1, then.

£1!

(LAUGHS) GEMIMA: Can't go any lower than that.

JAMES: A pound.

GEMIMA: £1 is bid.

ALL: (CHEER) GEMIMA: One bid... GEMIMA: At £1 now.

Come in at two if you want to go.

Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

At £1, then.

At £20 bid now, where's two for the red tractor?

I am selling.

Thank you so much.

Here we go... Aww.

..for £1... (GAVEL) I think you've just made history... MARTIN: Wahey!

Result!

JAMES: Hurrah, yay... VO: Ouch.

He loved those too.

MARTIN: Margie, why didn't you stop me?!

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) SHIRLIE: She tried!

When I showed them to Marge, Margie's face went like this... VO: Surely Shirlie can make some pennies now on her lovely Barbola mirror.

I start the bidding in at £20.

At 22 now, bid on the phone.

At 22 now bid.

At 22 now... MARTIN: You're on the phone.

SHIRLIE: Come on, phone buyer.

28.

28 now bid.

28 now, bid it up for me now.

At 28 on the phone.

You coming in?

Don't be shy.

Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

At 28.

30... Tell them how big it is.

JAMES: 30.

GEMIMA: Two on the phone.

At 32 on the phone.

You coming in at five?

Who dares wins.

Go on, have another go.

Come on.

Five bid now, and eight?

WOMAN: Yeah.

JAMES: Yes, profit!

38 on the phone.

Staying strong on the phone... JAMES: Yes!

Profit!

GEMIMA: ..you coming in at 40?

Come on phone, 40 on the phone!

Final warning at 38... (GAVEL) SHIRLIE: Not bad.

JAMES: Well done... MARTIN: Well?

JAMES: Well done.

That was good though, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was good.

VO: £3 to Shirlie.

Could have done better, but... No, look, a profit's a profit.

SHIRLIE: Profit's a profit.

VO: So it is.

VO: Martin's pinning his hopes on the pearls, going under the hammer next.

Now this is the biggie.

MARTIN: Yeah, this is the one... SHIRLIE: Oh... ..we spent a lot of money on.

This is the biggie!

Here we go.

I'm nervous about this one.

Mm.

Start the bidding in at £42 and that takes out my commissions.

At 42, 45, 48, 55.

Revival of the pearls.

55 and 60 and five... Oh, it's lower than we thought.

GEMIMA: ..at 65 now.

Are you coming in at 70?

Lovely things, these.

At 65 now, 70 bid now.

Are you coming in at five?

MARTIN: Come on.

MARGIE: Eh?

GEMIMA: At £70 bid, don't miss them.

At £70 bid now.

Come in at five if you want to go.

Bid it in, bid it now, bid it quick.

At 75.

Oh, come on, get it up.

MARGIE: You're joking!

GEMIMA: Come on.

At 75 now.

Where's 80?

Bid now, quickly.

Don't give up.

I'm selling, then, for £75... (GAVEL) MARTIN: Oh!

JAMES: Aww... SHIRLIE: I'm surprised.

VO: Precious things can be unpredictable.

JAMES: So sorry.

MARGIE: But that was a bit... We all thought it was worth more.

VO: Shirlie's expensive sconces are up next.

Start the bidding in at £50...

They are from Versailles.

GEMIMA: ..£50 bid now.

Come in at five if you want to go.

At 50, and five on the phone.

55 on the phone.

At 55... JAMES: Phone!

GEMIMA: ..and 60 and five.

WOMAN: Yes.

GEMIMA: On the phone.

GEMIMA: At 70 bid, and five?

WOMAN: Yes.

GEMIMA: Five on the phone.

At 75.

80 bid now.

80 bid now.

Coming in at five?

Fives on the phone, go up higher... You've got two, come on!

At £80 bid, £80 bid now...

Bigger units!

Bid it in.

Lovely things, these.

They are lovely things.

GEMIMA: ..once...and twice... MARTIN: Oh, no... JAMES: Oh, no!

GEMIMA: ..I'm selling then, final warning, for £80... SHIRLIE: No!

MARTIN: Oh...Shirlie... No!

VO: Well, that's a bit of a blow.

SHIRLIE: Oh, well.

I'm... MARTIN: We had two bidders!

..feeling quite flat now.

JAMES: Don't feel flat.

We're going to be raised by our next lot.

VO: Martin's last chance now.

It's the umbrella stand Margie made him buy.

I'd like to start the bidding in at 32.

35, 38, 40.

Two... JAMES: Well done.

Profit.

GEMIMA: ..five.

At 45 now bid... 45 now.

Bid now, come in if you want to go.

GEMIMA: Bid it in, bid it now.

SHIRLIE: She's fast.

GEMIMA: ..I jump to £60 online.

SHIRLIE: Wow!

GEMIMA: 70 bid online.

£80 online.

£80 bid, £80 bid now.

Can we get a five bid now... At 85 bid now.

Now can we get a 90, if you want to go?

GEMIMA: Are you coming in at 90?

JAMES: Wow, well done, you two.

Last call.

I'm selling, then, for £85... SHIRLIE: Wow!

(GAVEL) MARTIN: Well done... MARGIE: Excuse me!

He owes Margie a big apology.

VO: Nice to see Ms Cooper earning her keep.

Ha!

MARTIN: I really do... MARGIE: Oh, Shirlie, thank you.

..and I am so pleased that that worked out... MARGIE: I know.

MARTIN: For your reputation... Oh, thank you so much, Martin.

VO: Last up and last chance for Shirlie to come back fighting.

It's the chandelier.

MARTIN: Good luck with this one.

SHIRLIE: Off we go... JAMES: Off we go.

SHIRLIE: Let's see.

And I start the bidding in at £30.

At £30 bid, £30 bid now.

I jump to £100.

At 100 now... JAMES: Woah...Shirlie!

MARTIN: What?!

GEMIMA: Bid in at 10 if you want it... GEMIMA: ..£100 for this.

MARTIN: How much did you pay?

MARGIE: Well done!

At £100 then, once, twice... Well done!

Well, you deserve... SHIRLIE: That was a shocker!

GEMIMA: Selling then at £100... (GAVEL) SHIRLIE: Confidence is restored.

MARTIN: Well done!

I was thinking, 'I'm a terrible buyer...' MARTIN: Wow!

VO: Yes, go, Shirlie!

JAMES: See, that was a good buy.

Well done.

SHIRLIE: That was a good buy... MARTIN: £70!

SHIRLIE: Yeah.

I want to know who's won!

VO: Then let me tell you.

Shirlie and James went big, spending most of their £400.

But, despite that last success, they finish up, after auction costs, with £310.36.

VO: But Martin and Margie were more cautious with the cash, and their piggy contains £388.02 after sale room fees, so we declare them to be the winners.

MARTIN: We won, but I've got to tell you something, I have had the best few days.

MARTIN: So it really is nice... MARGIE: We've all won.

MARTIN: ..But we've all won.

SHIRLIE: We've all won... SHIRLIE: ..a wonderful experience...

This has been so special... no, it really has.

MARTIN: We've all won.

We just won a little bit more.

MARTIN: That's all.

ALL: Yeah.

VO: Happy days.

That was so much fun, wasn't it?

Yeah, I really loved it.

What a... What an amazing experience.

You know, I just love the mooching around and...

The smooching.

The smooching... Yeah, me and you can do the smooching.

SHIRLIE: (LAUGHS) VO: Ah, love's young dream.

Bye bye!

subtitling@stv.tv